Balance. It is oh-so-elusive, yet everyone strives for it. Myself included.
I’m starting to think there’s no such thing.
I think that as human beings, we can find some level of balance that makes sense and works well for our lives. But I always think that it’s going to be uneven. We can’t do everything perfectly 100% of the time. Or even 50% of the time.
All we can do is the best we can do. Below is something that I wrote about a month ago:
I feel like I lost my balance recently. I had gotten into a good rhythm and routine with my daily life. I was able to juggle motherhood and business-hood in a way that felt really really great. I think I just made that word up, by the way. But then I lost it. I don’t know what happened, but this last week or so, so many boxes in my bullet journal have gone un-filled. I feel like I’m walking on uneven ground half the time and that I’m just spinning in circles. I think the only thing I’ve been able to do well is be Lily’s mom.
I’m writing this today as a reminder to myself, and to all of you, to extend grace. I’m not perfect. I don’t claim to be and never will be. But I can definitely not be so hard on myself. I have to remember to lean on the people around me and ask for help if I think it’ll help me find that “balance” I sometimes have in my life.
It is so NOT easy, but it’s really important!
Since then, things have changed, and for the better! I feel like I’ve finally figured out a really good rhythm for myself in a way that makes sense, and makes me feel like I’m accomplishing what matters. It also feels sustainable. I don’t spend the same amount of time on each thing I do, but I’m putting the time in where it matters, and where it’s a priority for me!
Here is the biggest thing I’ve realized that has helped me balance being a mom, a boss lady, and a wife!
I had to tell myself that when Lily is awake, my job is just to be her mom and be a wife.
This helped me alleviate so much guilt I felt for not doing other things (like blogging and editing) while she was awake and playing. Now, my day looks something like this:
- wake up with Lily. Eat breakfast and play!
- Lily’s morning nap – work out, shower, read, work on any house chores.
- Lily wakes up and we have lunch/play/run errands/play dates/get outside.
- Lily’s afternoon nap – BUSINESS HOURS! I only get about two hours for this and I am so much more productive now knowing that this is the only time I’ve decided to dedicate to my day to getting the heart of my work for my business done.
- When Lily gets up, we eat a snack and play/go outside, etc. When Steven gets home from work we all have dinner together and family time.
- After Lily goes to bed, I just do whatever I feel like doing – and that is so freeing!
Now, a lot of this does seem like it revolves around Lily, but we’ve worked really hard to make her schedule fit our lives, and not our lives fit into her schedule. We modify nap times and lengths whenever we need to if we have somewhere to be or want to be out doing something, and Lily adjusts beautifully.
I feel like I’m at so much more peace with how I do things each day, and helps me to keep things in check when I start feeling down on myself. Working out and spending her morning nap doing things for ME has made a wonderful difference in my overall well-being. Sure, I can’t leave the house, but I get to focus mostly on self care and that is SO so important as a person to have, regardless of if you’re a mom or not!
So, today I just want to encourage you to figure out what is a priority in your life, and then actually MAKE it a priority! Create a plan for yourself and your family that feels good and helps you get what you want out of your day! It doesn’t have to be set in stone, it’s totally going to change over time as your lives change, as it should!
Please, please, don’t forget to treat yourself with grace! We are imperfect human beings, and like I said, all we can do is the best we can do!