Why We Didn’t Want to Know

“Open your eyes, Linda! It’s a girl!” Those words still make my heart jump and bring tears to my eyes. I had just made it through the hardest part of labor and met our sweet baby girl for the first time. Most of my labor was spent with my eyes closed and the nurse reminded me to open my eyes so I could see our daughter enter the world and I am SO grateful for that!

We didn’t know going into the hospital if we were having a boy or a girl, and up until I was about 37 weeks I had no desire to know either way. But I had decided (and I don’t remember if Steven felt the same way or if he just went along with it because, well, I was doing the heavy lifting and it was my way or the highway kind of thing, hahaha) that I didn’t want to know the sex of our baby.

So many people would find out that we were waiting until the birth to find out and I was met with “but how will you plan the nursery?!” haha. I knew that I wanted our nursery to be a calming space that wouldn’t need to be repainted for every stage of life. I also knew I wanted it to be an ocean themed nursery, so I had zero issues setting everything up without knowing the sex, because the room didn’t depend on the sex. It depended on the baby becoming part of our family, and I had the BEST time setting everything up!

I started out not wanting to know the sex of the baby because there are soooo few TRUE surprises in life, and I couldn’t wait for that moment during birth. The anticipation of finding out if we were going to meet a baby girl or boy really helped get me through some super tough moments in labor. I also really envisioned this moment below – Steven going out to tell our family in the waiting room if the baby was a boy or a girl! And this photo is better than I ever dreamed it would be.

But the further along I got into pregnancy, the more practical the reasoning became. I really am a simple person and I don’t like a lot of stuff and clutter. So, not knowing the sex helped ensure that I got EVERYthing I actually needed for the baby. One friend asked me to add more things to my registry because everything had been purchased already. We were incredibly grateful and so blessed for all the support we received from our friends and family! The stroller, car seat, mattress, nursing supplies, boppy, rock and play, pack and play, alllll those big pieces that are essential were purchased for us because people didn’t know what to buy for clothes, haha. It was SO helpful! And then after she was born we were flooded with hand-me-downs which I’m also super grateful for!! I love having used things vs. new whenever I can!

So, if you’re leaning on the side of not knowing the sex of your baby, I think you should do it!! It’s seriously so awesome to find out after the baby is born, and it really does help with the preparation part of having a baby – that stuff isn’t cheap! haha.

But really, it’s a personal decision and no way is right or wrong, but I wanted to share with you my take on finding out the sex of our baby!  What about you? Did you find out before or after the birth?

Linda is a Boston-based photographer specializing in weddings and creating family legacies. You can see more of her work online at lindabarryphotography.com, on Instagram, or on Facebook. If you want to reach out directly: linda@lindabarryphotography.com. To sign up for the monthly newsletter full of encouragement and real life, click here!

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comments +

  1. Kassaundra says:

    I completely agree with all of this! It was so motivating during labor and I will never forget the moment the doctor laid Teddy on me and said, “Can you see what you had” and I got to look up at Greg and say “we have a boy” brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it <3

  2. Vela says:

    My niece and her husband are due in a few weeks and they don’t know yet. I’m excited to find out too!!

  3. […] Read this blog post to see why we didn’t want to know the sex either! […]

  4. […] Jen + Sean are expecting their second baby in July and I am SO excited for their family of three to become a family of four! They don’t know what the sex of their baby is, and plan to be surprised and y’all know how much I love that!! […]

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You can usually find me adding books to my never-ending “to read” list; challenging myself to do things like not shop for a year; sneaking crispy m+ms from my secret hiding spot so I don’t have to share them with my daughter; and melting over seeing my children smiling at each other.

Oh and I guess I should mention - I’m a seasoned Portland wedding photographer who provides not only kick-ass wedding photos, but also a meaningful and laid-back experience from the time you book to the delivery of your final images. 

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