Looking back now on the first couple weeks of Lily’s life, I wonder how we ever got through it. It wasn’t anything bad, but it was a whole new set of challenges that we weren’t quite ready for, apparently. Now Lily is a little over three months old, and it has been amazing. I’m not going to lie, it took me a little while before I truly felt like a mom, and now that it’s set in, it’s incredible. I have this beautiful, hilarious, sweet daughter and I never imagined it would feel like this.
About eleven months ago, I made a post called “What Pregnancy Means to Me,” and it was my way of announcing my pregnancy to friends and family. So I thought it’d be fun to do a similar post about motherhood!
- It’s using my daughter’s bathtub as a foot bath so I can give myself a pedicure. Because if we’re being honest, getting nails done professionally is amazing and the best, but definitely not in the budget post-stay-at-home-mom transition.
- It’s using the cool baby drying rack not only for bottles, but for pump parts.
- It means buying D batteries in bulk because I keep forgetting to turn the vibrating thing on her napper off after she falls asleep.
- It’s letting her sleep on my chest instead of getting anything done because I know it won’t be like this for long.
- It’s falling in love with my husband all over again, in a totally different way.
- It means feeling like a rock star when I’m able to calm her down and rock her to sleep.
- It means feeling my heart melt every time she smiles in her sleep, or smiles at me when she sees us in the morning.
- It’s being completely overwhelmed with gratitude at 3am while I nurse my daughter while laying next to my sleeping husband, because I never thought this would be the life I get the privilege to live.
- It’s getting teary eyed and SO proud after the first time she rolls over.
- It’s thinking about labor and delivery on a daily basis.
- It’s not being able to agree with Steven about whether or not the sound machine is too loud.
- It’s being ridiculously excited to finally be using cloth diapers.
- It means loving so much and giving so much of myself that I sometimes don’t know how I can keep doing this. But waking up each day being SO happy to be her mama.
- It’s realizing that breastfeeding was not as painful as I thought it would be.
- It’s checking on her every time she’s sleeping to make sure she’s still breathing.
Motherhood so far is this exhilarating adventure that is sometimes stressful, challenging, and exhausting. But it’s also the most beautiful thing I have experienced in life so far. Sometimes I find myself wishing she was older so I can see her accomplish so much, but I’m also so sad every time she accomplishes something new, or outgrows an outfit because I know she’s growing up. I wish she could stay little forever, because then she’ll always need me.
What a whirlwind motherhood is.