Okay, so I’m sharing this post because I hear sometimes about how moms didn’t really feel prepared for what was actually coming once the baby was here. Now, I am not sharing this to scare new moms, and I’m not sharing this to say ALL THESE THINGS will happen to you. But I’m sharing this so that you can have some realistic expectations for the first few months and it’s OKAY to set the bar low, trust me.

Here was my reality as a new mom:

• I had a vaginal delivery and needed stitches afterwards, so I couldn’t get into our bed for two weeks. Walking up stairs was actually super uncomfortable for the first few days after having Lily.
• I felt like I couldn’t actually stand up straight. I had to hold on to things while I was walking to feel confident until my body started to heal.
• I was in labor for a long time, so there’s some damage to my tailbone and I have to sit on a cushion basically all the time.
• If it wasn’t for Steven, I don’t know how I would’ve eaten that first week. He is the reason I’m still alive because he made killer sandwiches that we devoured. It was really quite awesome!
• Steven had two weeks, unpaid, off from work and it was really awesome that he was home with us because there were some times where I was actually afraid to stand up off the couch while holding Lily because I was worried I wouldn’t be able to stand up, and he was there for me. For us.
• I chose to breastfeed Lily and I got mastitis three (or was it four?) times. But I’d do it all again, because, free food. And I was fortunate enough to have a supply that kept producing!
• Haha, I remember when we left the hospital I literally thought to myself, “OMG how could they just let us leave? I don’t know what to do next! What the heck do we even do with a baby now!?” yeah, it was quite the moment, haha. But you know what? Intuition kicked in and we just loved on our baby and focused on staying alive. But also, no one really knows what the hell they’re doing when they go home with a baby for the first time, and that’s okay. 
• I. was. exhausted. Just completely and utterly.
• I felt connected to Lily basically right away, but not everyone feels that way, and that’s okay. I definitely had some baby blues the first few weeks. I mostly just still couldn’t believe that we had a baby. Some days I still can’t believe that we have a thriving little girl.
• There were definitely a few nights I spent pacing the house rocking Lily, and crying with her, because I was so tired and I didn’t know how to help her. I didn’t realize until it was too late that our windows were also wide open so we probably woke up half the neighborhood at 3am with her crying.

I want to share this because I wish I had read this somewhere. Yes, being a mom is one of the greatest joys of my life, and I am so freaking thankful that I get to be Lily’s mama. But I remember everything about those first few weeks, and it was hard. Would I do it all over again? Yes, absolutely.

Being a mom is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, and it’s never over. However, it’s something that brings me so much joy. It’s not always peaches and cream though. Sometimes I need a break, or I need to walk away for a minute or two, and sometimes I snap and yell. No one is perfect. I think so many moms feel pressure to do all the things because of what they see on social media, and they see moms who are baking all the things, crafting all the things, adventuring with their kids and seemingly doing it all with grace and ease.

Just remember this – no matter what, you’re doing a good job. All you have to do is love your baby and the rest will fall in place.

Linda is a Boston-based photographer specializing in weddings and creating family legacies. You can see more of her work online at lindabarryphotography.com, on Instagram, or on Facebook. If you want to reach out directly: linda@lindabarryphotography.com. To sign up for the monthly newsletter full of encouragement and real life, click here!

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