It’s been just over three weeks since Lily was born. Being pregnant feels like a lifetime ago, and if I didn’t have photos to prove it, I don’t think I’d believe I was!
Over the past three weeks I’ve learned a lot, and it’s been really great but not always as blissed out as people think it is. And that’s completely okay. We waited so long for this, and sometimes I feel guilty about feeling frustrated, but it’s totally normal. I’ve had moments where I’ve questioned our decision to be parents; I’ve had moments where I’ve felt like a terrible mother because I can’t figure out why she’s crying; moments of realizing that I can’t leave her for more than 30 minutes because I’m the sole provider of nutrition until we introduce a bottle, which is sort of hard to come to terms with sometimes; I’ve also had so many moments of overwhelming love and gratitude for this little human of ours and the joy she’s already brought to our lives. However, having a daughter feels completely real to me, but being a mother is a part of my identity that I still haven’t quite gotten used to. Some days I don’t feel like a mom yet, but I know it’ll come!
I’m really proud of me and Steven – we’ve managed to keep up with our lives and take care of ourselves along with this new little girl of ours. We absolutely adore Lily, and we’ve loved watching her grow and change over these past three weeks!
In just a couple of weeks a lot of my friends are going back to work as another school year starts, and it’s weird to think that I’m not joining their ranks this year. It’s starting to feel a little more real that I’m not going back, and this is my new way of life. I’m so so grateful that I don’t have to part with our little one after six weeks, but it’s also a little strange to get used to this idea. That I get to wake up with Steven each morning and talk about our goals for the day, and realize that I now have this flexibility and freedom to manage my life in such a different way!
Anyway – the past three weeks…
- My new normal is looking up things like baby poop, baby acne, breast engorgement/clogged milk ducts, and sleep tips on the internet.
- We praise our daughter for burping, farting and pooping.
- I find myself rocking even when I’m not holding her.
- Anyone who has ever said “I slept like a baby,” has clearly never slept in the same space as a newborn.
- I check on her a lot while she’s sleeping to make sure she’s still alive.
- My daughter farts like an adult.
- Breastfeeding is really cool. It’s also a whirlwind.
- I’ve still taken care of business and that feels really good!
- My gosh – her sweet face. I just can’t get enough!
- I’ve realized how excited I am to be cleared for exercise – and not because I’m in any rush to lose weight (I don’t even own a scale!) but because being active is a huge part of who I am, and makes me feel really great! I’m enjoying this time with my baby, but I’m ready to get back into physical activity (beyond walking) and swimming after my checkup with my doctor!
- Life with a baby isn’t as messy as I thought it would be.