I don’t want to live a conventional life.


Rome. Australia. Kids. Tiny houses. Traveling. Climbing. Quitting my job.

I don’t really know what’s gotten into me lately. I am just really dreading living a conventional life. First of all, there is NOTHING wrong with living a conventional life, but it is just not a life I can picture myself living anymore.

Bear with me, this is a struggle to make all of this come out coherently.

Every day I wake up, I’m happy with where I am in my life. However, I can’t help but wonder how can I get MORE out of it? How can I truly LIVE a life that I am proud of? One where I get to accomplish all of my dreams? I have a burning desire to live a life that I find extraordinary.

I adore teaching. I love it, I really do. I work with incredible people. But I don’t see myself doing it forever. I’m not going to leave teaching because I hate it. I’m most likely going to leave because I’m starting a different and new adventure. I’ve heard some people say it’s a waste of an education and waste of money to not teach for a long time.

No it’s not.

I have gotten incredible experiences out of my education, ones that I never would have gotten otherwise. It’s not a waste if I decide to do something else. And that’s just it. I feel this incredible pull to be doing more with my life. Something different. I think I’ll teach for a few more years,  and have a couple of kids in the meantime. (If we do have kids soon, my life will change, but it won’t be over. Steven and I are still going to do all the things we dream of, but we will get to share that with our kids. If our dreams change after we have kids, then so be it.) But by no means is that set in stone. Just yesterday I was looking at an international school in Rome and wondering how awesome that would be to experience that.

I don’t want to create boxes that I have to fit my life into.

I still dream of being a full time photographer, and I feel I’m just a couple of years away from that. I want to build a tiny house with Steven and our kids and travel the country and rock climb while we’re at it. I want to have atypical jobs to support our family. There’s something fascinating about that.

As a society, I wonder why we feel the need to create all of these plans and stick to them. Sure, I think they’re great to sort of keep you on a path. I’ve just recently learned that sometimes these plans don’t come to life, and it’s okay if you want to change them before they do.

I feel fortunate enough that I have options. Life is unpredictable. I don’t want to fool myself into thinking that I can predict the outcome of my future, because I can’t.

What I can do, is LIVE the life I’ve always dreamed and be happy along the way.

Does anyone else ever feel like this? Like there is something more to life? I can’t be the only one.

I’m not going to get caught up in wondering what I can do differently. I want to be present in every moment and chase my dreams and make them happen.

It’s all perspective, really. I can look at someone’s life and think it’s not for me, but for them? It’s probably the most fascinating, extraordinary life they can lead. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

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  1. kirstie says:

    I love this….and explains perfectly how i feel every day! i don’t hate my life, i’m not unhappy….but i want something different, unconventional, a boat instead of a house….and horse and cart (i have the horse already!) different ways to earn the money i need without doing the job i really get no fulfillment from…..i feel ungrateful, but it isn’t that….i was made to explore, to be an adventurer, and whilst not ultimately practical in it truest form right now, there has to be something i can turn into reality right…..

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You can usually find me adding books to my never-ending “to read” list; challenging myself to do things like not shop for a year; sneaking crispy m+ms from my secret hiding spot so I don’t have to share them with my daughter; and melting over seeing my children smiling at each other.

Oh and I guess I should mention - I’m a seasoned Portland wedding photographer who provides not only kick-ass wedding photos, but also a meaningful and laid-back experience from the time you book to the delivery of your final images. 

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