This post has been heavy on my heart for a while. I’ve been thinking about my life a lot lately, mostly because I’m on summer break doing nothing but looking and reminiscing on old photos. Okay, I’m doing more than that, I promise. The other day maintenance brought us a new fridge, and in the process of taking everything off the door and putting it back on, I found this fortune that we had put on the fridge a long time ago.
Do what you can with what you have, where you are.
Seeing this reminder triggered an overwhelming amount of peace for me. There are a lot of things I wish were different in my life. Mainly I just want to fast forward to when things will be SUPER awesome. Life is great right now. But I can’t help but think back on the times when Steven and I first got married, and how that time was just so exciting and everything was going off without a hitch. Life just felt easier. A lot has changed since then. But, I’m still madly in love with my husband and am looking forward to all of our adventures we are going to have.
I wish our living situation wasn’t as crazy as it is.
I wish our electric bill was cheaper.
I wish we had a little more money.
I want to be an excellent teacher.
I want to be a mother.
I want to have a full time photography business.
I wish I had a better relationship in my faith.
I don’t have any of those things right now. It has taken me an incredibly long time to finally be okay with my life right now, as it is. By focusing so much on things I wish were different, I often forget about all of the things that are so amazing right now. I don’t want to wish time away anymore. I want to stop comparing my life to someone’s highlights on facebook.
I have a husband who loves me, a job, a roof over my head, some food in the fridge, and I am working on healthier habits. I have wedding clients who love what I do, and I love doing it for them. I have supportive people at an amazing church who accept me as I am, where I am in my journey.
Someday, my life will be different, and things will change. There will still be things I wish were different, but it doesn’t make this time in my life any less important, valuable, or precious. This year I made a decision to have less negativity and less distractions in my life. THAT is what I’m going to focus on. I’m going to enjoy this season of my life with my husband, because life is beautiful. Doing what I can with what I have, where I am, is all I need to do and worry about.
I’m happy to be struggling.