“And then I remembered, this is why I don’t go shopping.”
My sister burst out laughing when I said this to her in the car when we were leaving Target. See, I made a decision about a year and a half ago that I was no longer going to buy clothes new if I could absolutely avoid it. Or anything new, for that matter. It’s part of my desire to be more conscious of my environment and to make good choices for the lifestyle I want to lead.
When I was in Target with my sister (I was there for a very specific gift), we looked at bathing suits, shoes, and took a walk through the home goods (is that what it is even called?!) section. As I made my way through these parts of the store to reach my final destination of said gift, I found myself really wishing I could buy all these awesome things that I saw. It was like some crazy animal woke up inside of me that pushed all reason from my brain. I just have to have these, because then… I’d look cute, my house would look really put together, and why not?! It was as if going through this store made me feel like my life was not good enough because I did not have these things in my possession. Furthermore, it made me feel like my life was not good enough because I could not afford all of these things that I saw and wanted.
And then I remembered, this is why I don’t go shopping.
I don’t like being made to feel like what I have is not good enough, or the life I lead is not good enough because I don’t have XYZ.
It’s silly really. As soon as I left the store, with only the gift I intended to buy (totally stoked I did not give into temptation) it was as if a fog I was in totally lifted. Immediately I found myself thinking I was silly for feeling like I just had to have all of those things. “That’s how these stores get you. It’s brutal. You feel like you just can’t have anything else but what they are offering,” I told my sister. She just laughed at me again. I don’t blame her. I’m sure I sounded a little crazy and overzealous.
Nonetheless, don’t feel like what you don’t have is good enough because something or someone may make you feel otherwise even if it is not being said directly.
I’m just going to stick to my goodwill addiction and continue on my quest to not buy things that are new, and not buy things that I don’t need. Because my life IS good enough, and I’ve worked my tail off to have the life I lead. I am not going to let anything make me doubt that again.